Where Do We Feel Anger?

Where do we feel anger?

Here at True Balance Karate in Downers Grove, Illinois, we have a social-emotional learning program called True Character.

I’m Master H, the owner and chief instructor here at the studio. I have two master’s degrees in education, and we’ve developed this curriculum to meet the needs of our youngest students, who are three or four, and our oldest students, who are 86.

How Anger Feels

This month, we are talking about anger management. Today, I want to talk about what it feels like in our body.

Last week, we defined what anger looks like and how sometimes we use the word “angry” to describe a whole host of negative feelings—frustration, sadness, disappointment—because we just don’t know quite where it all fits in. “Angry” becomes a catchall word for how we’re feeling.

But when we are truly angry—truly upset, mad, and things just aren’t going our way—how does it feel in our bodies? What happens that can give us clues as to how we’re actually feeling?

Maybe you clench your fists, and all of your muscles get tight. Your fists are clenched, your biceps are clenched, you’re standing there, and you’re almost shaking because you’re so angry and don’t know what to do with it.

Maybe you feel the urge to get away from the situation immediately—like you need to go. This is called the fight-or-flight response. Maybe you’re the kind of person who, when you get super angry, you “fly”—you just want to get away.

Maybe you have some kind of twitch or physical response. Sometimes, when I get super angry, my knee starts bouncing, and I shift from side to side because I can’t sit still.

Maybe your jaw clenches, and your teeth press together. You feel tightness in your face because you’re just so frustrated. Or maybe your face gets flushed, you feel hot, and your pulse beats stronger in your body.

All of these things could be indicators of feeling angry. These are our bodies’ ways of telling us, “Hey, this is how you’re feeling right now.”

Dealing with Feelings

In order to manage that feeling, we need to recognize it as it’s happening. It can’t be a surprise. We need to start identifying the small things that lead up to the bigger reaction so that we can intervene before it happens.

For example, if you notice that a child tends to throw things when they get angry, observe what happens right before they throw. That can be your cue to help them recognize their emotions and manage their anger.

The same applies to adults. Watch your significant other—see what happens right before they get angry. Maybe you can gently bring it up at a calm time and say, “Hey, did you notice this happens before you get upset?”

Just remember—don’t point it out in the middle of their anger. That’s not the time when they will be receptive. Wait until they are calm and able to listen.

For children, once they’ve calmed down, you might say, “I noticed you were super angry and threw your Legos. Here’s what I saw happen right before. Did you feel that before it happened? What do you think you can do next time instead?”

Helping them recognize these signs and problem-solve can be crucial. Teaching anger management requires grace, forgiveness, and tools to help people manage their emotions.

Over time, they can incorporate calming strategies, build self-awareness, and develop techniques to stay in control before they reach the point of erupting in anger.

So, when we talk about anger management, it’s not just about labeling emotions—it’s about recognizing what’s happening in our own bodies before we get super angry.

Thanks, and I’ll see you on the mat!

True Balance Karate was founded in 2012 by Master Sue and Paul Helsdon.

We offer kids karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up. These lessons are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need — specialized for their age group — for school excellence and later success in life.

Our adult martial arts training is a complete adult fitness and conditioning program for adults who want to lose weight, get (and stay) in shape, or learn self-defense in a supportive environment.

Instructors can answer questions or be contacted 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 630-663-2000. You can also contact us here. True Balance Karate is at 406 Ogden Ave Downers Grove Illinois, 60515 (next to CVS) Check out our Facebook!