What is Self-Control?

What is self-control?

Here at Two Balance Karate in Downers Grove, Illinois, we have a social emotional learning program called True Character. I’m Master H, the owner and chief instructor here at the studio. I have two master’s degrees in education, and we have developed this curriculum to meet the needs of our youngest students who are three or four, and our oldest student who is 85.

How Self-Control Looks

And this month we are talking about self-control. I stop and think of my choices before I act.

And this is a skill that for our under 8-year-old kids, it’s one of those things that needs to be modeled, reinforced, reminded, drilled into them because they are very, um, impulsive in their actions.

They see something and they just wanna either start telling you about it or show you it or jump in front of it, or whatever it might be. They’re full of energy and they have lots to share, and they think that what they’re about to share is the most important thing ever, or what they’re about to do is the most important thing ever.

And then as our students get a little bit older, you know, now our self-control has more to do with stopping and thinking about what we wanna say before we blurt out a rude comment, a disrespectful comment, something that we can’t necessarily take back that might be harmful to somebody along with still having some of those same impulsive actions. They just kind start to morph as our maturity grows.

And then as adults, you know, our self-control turns into how we choose to drive our car, how we engage with the world around us, how we react when our food at a restaurant might come in and it’s not quite what we ordered or something like that, right?

Pressing Pause

So, practicing our self-control is really all about constantly giving ourselves reminders that we need to stop and think of all of the choices that we have in front of us before we act. And, you know, sometimes it’s as simple as giving yourself a pep talk, pause, take a moment, evaluate, and then pick something and continue moving forward.

And within that pause, you can have a strategy like deep breathing. Within that pause, you can have a strategy of writing down what your choices are in that strategy. In that pause, you can have the strategy of, um, choosing to view five things that you can see and four things that you can hear, and really ground yourself for a moment so that you can remain calm and evaluate all at the same time.

Because we’re able to filter through large amounts of information fairly quickly. So if we are practicing our self-control, we’re literally taking a few moments to pause, evaluate what needs to be done and pick from there because there’s lots of choices.

Making Good Choices

I have lots of conversations with kids and adults in all honesty, but mostly kids, about how your superpower is your ability to make a choice, right? You know you can get into an argument with your best friend. You have a choice as to whether or not you apologize or say hurtful things. You can make it worse or you can make it better just by how you choose. You have a choice in how you react to those around you. That’s your superpower, right?

So as we are going through this month of self-control, it’s a matter of harnessing this idea of the fact that I have control over myself, which means I have the choice as to how I respond, and that’s my self-control.

Future Topics

We’re gonna talk about what we do when we interrupt. We’re gonna talk about how we control our bodies. We’re gonna talk about, um, what happens if we do act impulsively and how do we make it better? And all those things that go into it. But along the way, the big idea is the fact that we need to pause, evaluate and choose, pick from there. Put yourself in an opportunity of making a positive choice, because at the end of the day, practicing your self-control is all about you making positive choices for yourself.

Thanks, and I’ll see you on the mat!

True Balance Karate was founded in 2012 by Master Sue and Paul Helsdon.

We offer kids karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up. These lessons are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need — specialized for their age group — for school excellence and later success in life.

Our adult martial arts training is a complete adult fitness and conditioning program for adults who want to lose weight, get (and stay) in shape, or learn self-defense in a supportive environment.

Instructors can answer questions or be contacted 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 630-663-2000. You can also contact us here. True Balance Karate is at 406 Ogden Ave Downers Grove Illinois, 60515 (next to CVS) Check out our Facebook!