Self Control and Listening

Self-control and interrupting

Here at True Balance Karate in Downers Grove, Illinois, we have a social emotional learning program called True Character. I’m Master H, the owner and chief instructor here at the studio. And we’ve developed this curriculum to meet the needs of our youngest students who are three or four, and our oldest student who is 86.

Practicing Patience

And this month we are talking about self-control. I stop and think of my choices before I act. And we started off the month defining what self-control was, and today we’re talking about interrupting. We’re talking about how do we teach kids not to interrupt? How do we help adults not to interrupt?

I know I am sometimes guilty of that. Just the other day, the other Master Helsdon was having a conversation with a student, and I walked up and started talking, and he looked at me and he goes, “You just interrupted.” And I was like, “You are absolutely right. I apologize.”

It’s one of those things that we can’t necessarily help sometimes because we’re either super excited about something or we want to share something. And it’s definitely something that we have to learn to teach, to help guide our younger students into knowing how to do that. Helping them learn to practice their patience, if you will.

Special Signal

My biggest advice is to come up with a signal that you can teach your kids. That means, you know what? I hear you. I know you want to say something, but you need to wait for a moment so that we can finish the conversation, and then we’ll get to you.

One of the things within our family was that our kids would come up and they’d put their hand on our arm, and then we would cover their hand with our hand. And that meant, okay, we know you want to say something, but you need to wait for a moment so that we can finish the conversation, and then we’ll get to you. It’s a matter of giving your kids something to latch onto with regards to what that signal might be. Using respectful words like “excuse me,” teaching them how to use those, and just thinking about how you as a person don’t mind being interrupted, and then helping them understand what that looks like, right?

I know as a mom, I did not appreciate the pulling on my shirt, “Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.” Giving them something to hold onto was a way for them to be able to do that. And then it still respected my boundaries as a parent too, and it wound up helping them understand the proper way to interrupt.

Good Interrupting

Saying that, there are times where we need to make sure that our kids understand when is the proper time to interrupt. We need to be interrupted when bones are broken. We need to be interrupted if it’s a huge emergency. Like we joke with the kids here at the studio, the toilet’s going in the wrong direction. That’s a big emergency, and they kind of understand what that looks like, right?

So knowing the right time to interrupt helps them understand and gives them power as to when they can run up and say something versus running up and holding onto your wrist or touching your arm or waiting patiently next to you, or whatever it might be.

Pause, then Choose

The idea is that when it comes to helping them stop and think of their choices and giving them that opportunity to demonstrate that self-control with regards to interrupting, it really helps them show some respect to the world around them, to themselves, to the people that you’re talking to, to you as well. It just goes a long way to helping continue to have those positive interactions.

And then of course, when we lose our self-control, we’re going to talk about what happens when that happens, but we all know that comes with some type of an apology that goes along with it. But that’s a conversation for another month.

Meanwhile, I encourage you to come up with a signal to teach your kids how to interrupt in a respectful and kind manner and let them know what you would view as an emergency for when they’re absolutely allowed to interrupt you no matter what.

I look forward to more conversations with all of you on self-control. Thanks, and I’ll see you on the mat!

True Balance Karate was founded in 2012 by Master Sue and Paul Helsdon.

We offer kids karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up. These lessons are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need — specialized for their age group — for school excellence and later success in life.

Our adult martial arts training is a complete adult fitness and conditioning program for adults who want to lose weight, get (and stay) in shape, or learn self-defense in a supportive environment.

Instructors can answer questions or be contacted 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 630-663-2000. You can also contact us here. True Balance Karate is at 406 Ogden Ave Downers Grove Illinois, 60515 (next to CVS) Check out our Facebook!