How Do We Remain Calm?

How do we remain calm?

Here at True Balance Karate in Downers Grove, Illinois, we have a social-emotional learning program called True Character.

I’m Master H, the owner and chief instructor here at the studio, and I have two master’s degrees in education. We’ve developed this curriculum to meet the needs of our youngest students, who are three or four, and our oldest students, who are 85 and 86.

This month, we are talking about anger management. When I’m angry, I can respond in a healthy way. We started off by defining what anger was, knowing that it’s one of those feelings we get, but we often use that word to describe a whole bunch of negative feelings. Then we talked about how our bodies feel when we get super angry.

Recognizing Our Reactions

Today, I want to talk about some ways to remain calm. But before I do that, I want to talk about what happens in our brain.

For some people, when they get angry, their brains actually shut down. You can see it when they stumble and stutter, struggling to find the words to express what’s going on because they are overwhelmed with emotion. Their brain is essentially saying, “I’m feeling all the feelings, and I can’t get out the thoughts.”

Some people react impulsively—they just can’t help themselves. I gave the example last week of three- and four-year-olds who get angry and throw something without really knowing why. They just reacted.

Even as adults, this happens. It can be a physical reaction or a verbal one—hurtful words spoken without thinking because anger took over.

Calming Strategies

When it comes to anger management and calming strategies, the key is to intervene before we lose control. It’s about stopping the reaction before it escalates and leads to harm.

Some calming strategies include walking away to give yourself a moment to calm down. Taking a walk outside, around the block, or simply sitting on the porch and taking deep breaths of fresh air can help. Focusing on the present moment can bring calmness.

A meditation exercise can also work. One technique is focusing on each muscle group, starting from the toes and working up, relaxing each as you go.

Engaging the five senses is another approach. What do you see that brings you joy? What do you hear that soothes you? Maybe it’s music. What do you smell that is calming? Scents like lavender or mint can have a relaxing effect.

Some people need a physical release. Punching a pillow, using a punching bag, or screaming into a pillow can help. The goal is to regain control so we can communicate respectfully and responsibly.

There are many calming strategies. Counting to ten was my mom’s favorite. Sometimes, I had to count to a hundred! Different strategies work for different people, and different situations might call for different approaches.

Helping our kids learn these strategies is important too. Here on the mat, when kids get frustrated, we sit down and talk about their feelings. We discuss how to handle emotions in a healthy way.

All feelings are valid, but what we do with those feelings is what matters. Are we treating people with kindness, respect, and responsibility? Or are we letting anger get the best of us and we wind up being hurtful? Anger is a valid feeling. What are we doing with that? Anger and how we manage it is what matters.

Thanks, and I’ll see you on the mat!

True Balance Karate was founded in 2012 by Master Sue and Paul Helsdon.

We offer kids karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up. These lessons are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need — specialized for their age group — for school excellence and later success in life.

Our adult martial arts training is a complete adult fitness and conditioning program for adults who want to lose weight, get (and stay) in shape, or learn self-defense in a supportive environment.

Instructors can answer questions or be contacted 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 630-663-2000. You can also contact us here. True Balance Karate is at 406 Ogden Ave Downers Grove Illinois, 60515 (next to CVS) Check out our Facebook!