Black Belt Confidence Part 2

Confidence Through Challenges and Failure

Confidence is earned, not given. The confidence to communicate effectively will only be achieved through actually communicating. We’ve seen our black belts go from being nervous to demonstrate a skill in front of a class to leading a room of 500 at a tournament within just a few years.

Confidence is also gained by putting ourselves to the test—holding ourselves to an expectation, falling short, then pushing through, not giving up, and eventually meeting that expectation. You can clearly see this in board breaking, which is why we love to do it at our tests. It’s important for students to try and fail. When you fail to break a board, it hurts—both your hand and your heart. But, like the right amount of wind on a tree, it’s just the right amount of stress to make us stronger. Watching a student gain determination, develop skill, and come back to break it again is where real strength comes from. The best part is that no one did it for them.

Theodore Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena” Speech

This idea of trying and failing is best summed up by Theodore Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena” speech, titled Citizenship in a Republic and given at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23, 1910. Here is the most famous quote from that speech:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Roosevelt gave this speech in 1910 and was referring to boxing. However, it feels like he could be talking about 2024 and the challenges of living in a digital world dominated by social media. On social media, it seems our world is ruled by the critic—through likes, comments, and shares on everything we do or say. This constant fear of what others think erodes one’s confidence. But Roosevelt said it best: the world belongs to the person who actually does it, who struggles and falls short but strives, nonetheless. Like the black belt who hits the board again and again, even if it hurts. Next time you or someone you know is put down by comments on social media, remember what Roosevelt said: the glory is for the person who tries for greatness, while the critic remains a cold and timid soul who neither knows victory nor defeat.

As a black belt your child will have worked through countless challenges, both mental and physical. They will have learned how to keep trying until their belt turns black.

Just the Right Amount of Confidence

Now for the most difficult part about building confidence: it takes the right amount of stress, applied in the right way at the right time. Confidence is on a continuum—too high is bad, too low is bad. We want to be right in the middle. Sometimes a student needs to be built up; sometimes they need to be knocked back. And sometimes, they need both on the same day. As your child grows, both in confidence and size, we will keep up with their growth and give them the right feedback at the right time.

This is, again, where the journey to black belt is unique in its approach. Students are not compared to their peers but only to their own progress (unless they need it). This gives black belt students the time and space to grow and develop confidence. The emphasis of the journey to black belt is on personal development. Competition is used as a tool to drive and measure progress, but it’s not the emphasis.

Confidence is a Muscle

The most important lesson students learn along their path to black belt is that confidence is not fixed. Many people think confidence is something you’re born with, like height. No matter how hard you work, study, or diet, your height will always be the same—it’s fixed. Unfortunately, too many people think confidence is the same way.

Confidence is a muscle. If you face it and work it out, it gets stronger. If you avoid it, it gets weaker. Students experience this repeatedly on their path to black belt. A black belt student learns new skills and works hard to master them. After lots of practice, they test for a new belt. Then, congratulations—here’s some new and harder material, and the cycle starts all over again. The belt system is designed to build confidence one step at a time. The cycle of new and scary challenges being conquered, followed by unlocking new and scarier challenges, is just the cycle of stress and success needed to build true confidence.

The Black Belt Advantage of Confidence

Confidence is not a what, its not something you work to achieve and then your done, you got it. Confidence is a process, not a destination.

Here’s the thing that sets martial arts apart from everything else: everyone can build confidence and earn a black belt. It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, short or tall, slow or fast, strong or weak. The path to black belt puts the student in the right environment, with the right coach and mentor, applying just the right amount of stress to help them grow into the person we all know they can be.

Now that’s a lot of how’s for confidence. Your kids will learn how the right amount of stress is a good and necessary thing to build confidence. They will learn how to talk and work with all kinds of people, giving them the skills to keep growing confidence in their communication. They will learn how to try, fail, and try again. Then the greatest how for building confidence, an understanding that confidence is not fixed and can be grown. Then after all they go through working to black belt, continually looking for challenges to keep growing their confidence will be just natural. Black belts will say, “Doesn’t everyone do it”?

True Balance Karate was founded in 2012 by Master Sue and Paul Helsdon. We offer specialized karate lessons for children and comprehensive fitness programs for adults, tailored to meet the unique needs of each age group.

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Our kids’ karate lessons are designed for:

• Pre-school children ages 3-6
• Elementary age kids ages 7 and up

These lessons are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need — specialized for their age group — for school excellence and later success in life.

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Our adult martial arts training provides a complete fitness and conditioning program for those who want to:

• Lose weight
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About Master Sue Helsdon

Master Sue Helsdon is a certified instructor with the World Tang Soo Do Association and a certified judge. Her diverse training includes Tang Soo Do, Shotokan Karate, Kung Fu, and Qi Gong. With a background as a certified special education teacher and two master’s degrees in education, she brings extensive classroom experience to the training floor and our instructor’s education.

Master Sue is also the author of Inspired by a Black Belt; Lessons in Focus, Self-Confidence, Respect, and Self-Control. You can find her book on Amazon and visit her author page. She has written all the supplemental curriculum used in True Balance Karate’s advanced leadership training program and the comprehensive character program, True Character.

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True Balance Karate proudly serves the communities of Downers Grove, Westmont, Oakbrook, Woodridge, and Lisle. Join us and experience the benefits of martial arts training in a supportive and empowering environment.