Black Belt Confidence Part 1

The Value of Real, Earned Confidence

Real, earned confidence is a key to life. It’s not easy, and it’s not free. Your parents definitely didn’t do it for you. How would you feel if your mom came out and broke a board for you? Kids need to be challenged. They need to take risks, and they definitely need to fail.

Anti-Fragility: Growth Through Stress

Children—and all living things, for that matter—are what is considered anti-fragile. Something anti-fragile gets stronger with stress. Something fragile gets weaker with stress. For example, metal is fragile. If you bend metal back and forth, the material weakens to the point where it will eventually break. Living things are anti-fragile. Stress makes them stronger.

A tree grown in a greenhouse will always fall over. It turns out the tree needs the stress of the wind in order to grow a strong root system. The side of the tree that faces the prevailing wind grows stronger cells in the wood. Without this stress, the roots are also weak, and eventually, the tree gets tall enough to topple. However, here’s the difficult part of life: it’s just the right amount of stress that counts. After all, if a tornado comes through, the tree is uprooted or snapped. But with the right amount of stress the trunk and roots are strong.  In a drought, the tree’s roots will run deeper, searching for water. But in too much of a drought, the tree will die.

The Right Stress at the Right Time

People are the same. We need just the right amount of stress, at just the right time, and in just the right place, to grow strong. Most importantly, this stress needs to be in the real world. (Experiences on a screen will never count as real stress. For a kid growing up on screens it is like growing a tree in a greenhouse) Real world stress is one of the primary building blocks of confidence.

The Fear of Real Interactions

Here’s an example I think we’re all aware of: have you noticed how freaked out a young person can get if they need to speak on the phone or send an email? Sure, kids know more people than ever before. Online, they interact with more people than anyone has in the past. However, interacting with people in an asynchronous, digital environment builds the opposite of confidence—it builds real fear of interacting with real people in the real world.

Now, more than ever, it is so important for kids to build their confidence in interacting with people in the real world. They need the stress of a synchronous environment where they can see, feel, and understand how someone else sees, feels, and understands

Black Belt: A Team Effort

Black belt is never earned alone. A student needs quality partners to challenge themselves, test their skills, and see what works and what doesn’t. Training for the black belt is an individual skill; however, it requires the help and interaction of many. In class, the student works with people of all different shapes, sizes, ages, and abilities. Students need to learn how to make a technique work on a smaller person, an injured person, someone twice their size, and someone more advanced. This experience in training for a black belt—having partners of so many different ages and abilities—helps the student build confidence and develop their ability to communicate and interact with others. This is real confidence that you can NEVER earn in a video game or on social media.

Mixed Ages and Ranks: A Unique Advantage

The mixed ages and ranks in the martial arts class are one of its biggest advantages over every other activity. In school, students are separated by age and class. More advanced students are placed in honors classes, less advanced students in regular classes, and kids who struggle are placed in special education. In sports, kids are separated by their age and gender. As they get older, they’re then separated by their ability, with more skilled kids going to travel leagues or elite teams, while the less skilled kids give up and go home to play video games. This separation by age, rank, ability, and gender does nothing to prepare kids for the real world and the rest of their lives.

Most workplaces have people of all ages and abilities. If we want our kids to be confident leaders in the real world, they need to learn how to navigate this environment. A key attribute of a leader is someone who knows how to build up those who need it, challenge those who need it, and effectively communicate with people of all kinds. The only place I know of in society where kids can get this experience is the martial arts classroom. Our black belts have to learn how to teach and communicate with a three-year-old learning to stand still, all the way to an 85-year-old trying to keep moving—and all on the same night. After spending many years learning to communicate in this environment, sending an email seems easy.

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True Balance Karate was founded in 2012 by Master Sue and Paul Helsdon. We offer specialized karate lessons for children and comprehensive fitness programs for adults, tailored to meet the unique needs of each age group.

Kids Karate Lessons

Our kids’ karate lessons are designed for:

• Pre-school children ages 3-6
• Elementary age kids ages 7 and up

These lessons are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need — specialized for their age group — for school excellence and later success in life.

Adult Martial Arts Training

Our adult martial arts training provides a complete fitness and conditioning program for those who want to:

• Lose weight
• Get and stay in shape
• Learn self-defense in a supportive environment

About Master Sue Helsdon

Master Sue Helsdon is a certified instructor with the World Tang Soo Do Association and a certified judge. Her diverse training includes Tang Soo Do, Shotokan Karate, Kung Fu, and Qi Gong. With a background as a certified special education teacher and two master’s degrees in education, she brings extensive classroom experience to the training floor and our instructor’s education.

Master Sue is also the author of Inspired by a Black Belt; Lessons in Focus, Self-Confidence, Respect, and Self-Control. You can find her book on Amazon and visit her author page. She has written all the supplemental curriculum used in True Balance Karate’s advanced leadership training program and the comprehensive character program, True Character.

Contact Us

Our instructors are available to answer questions 24/7 at 630-663-2000. Visit us at: https://truebalancekarate.com/contact-us/  or stop by in person at 406 Ogden Ave, Downers Grove, IL 60515 (next to CVS)

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